You have to be ready.

I have a cold. Nothing majorly new or life threatening there. I have asthma too-  I've had lung issues ever since I was born  but as I've grown and got healthier (I.e less fat and fitter) it's become really well controlled - in a good month I take no medications at all- every now and again I forget I even have it. 

However, recently because of this  I have become complacent and am not as vigilant about ensuring I have a inhaler around should I ever need it. 

Well today I was reminded how incredibly scary it is to be unable to breathe, to feel your lungs closing and then to realise that the inhaler you need (and could literally save your life) is sitting at home on the desk. To have that panic that I can only imagine must be what drowning feels like. Feeling like a fish out of water. Keep doing karate, you'll be okay. Becoming lightheaded and feeling that the breaths you take are becoming shallower, feeling the mucous build up in your lungs but not having the strength or lung capacity to cough it out. You know trouble is coming when you stop coughing and wheezing- silence comes. 

Focus on getting home- get the inhaler and you will be okay. Don't be stupid next time, keep one everywhere just in case, traffic lights need to change, pins and needles in your hands, just breathe, a couple more minutes, relax, let your body take over it, it will keep you alive as long as possible, why did you get so complacent, don't be scared- it will be okay. 

Get home, key in the door, get the inhaler, take it- too fast, not enough breathed in, try again, hands shaking. It starts to work. Relax, take some more, feel safe now, you can breathe again. Within a few minutes everything feels okay again. Tired. 

Forgetting how potentially life threatening Asthma can be is a dangerous game to play.

The trigger, a cold I knew I had- therefore I should have been way more prepared for this. You live and learn, although I know some people that weren't as lucky to get another chance. 

I am healthier and fitter and have a LOT less issues than I did before which is great but clearly for me, this is one thing I'll have forever hence I'll need to be prepared for the worst forever, and so with the current cold and attack this morning I'll be spending the next month or two taking my steroid preventer inhaler, no doubt some more of my rescue inhaler and possibly some oral steroids in the next couple of days. 

Today has reminded me how far I've come- attacks like today's used to be a regular thing, I spent a long time on steroids and used that as a excuse for my weight, which made the asthma worse. A vicious circle. 

I'm lucky to be where I'm at but I still need to be careful. Just like karate I suppose- always be ready for worst outcome but do your best to never get into it.